Im at strip club and am horny
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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