idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
