carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
