i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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