I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
