i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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