I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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