batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
