shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
why is half of my head shaved?
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