It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
