She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize
