How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
