2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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