Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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