I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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