I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
