Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
