I'm drive I can fine osifer
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
