in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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