Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
