Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
