you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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