i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
