I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
