someone get that fucking seahorse.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pour the whiskey from now on
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize