just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
