I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
