I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
