just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize