dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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