I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
