Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
