Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
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he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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