i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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