fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
