the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
