In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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