I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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