Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
