How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
