Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
