Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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