I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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