Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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