So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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