well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
