I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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