I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
