is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Damn victory sex feels great
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
