Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
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I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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