He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
