You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
