He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
