After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
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I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
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Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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