So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
