im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
